Building Resilience Through Family Stories

Haggadah Section: -- Exodus Story
AncestralCommentaryExodus StoryGrandparentingHealingHistoryHome RitualsIdentityMaggidMental HealthMindfulnessParentsRecoveryTeensWellnessWisdom

Researchers have begun to establish a causal link between storytelling and thriving. In 2001, psychologists Marshall Duke and Robyn Fvush compared children's psychological health with their knowledge of their own family history. They measured this knowledge on a "Do You Know?" scale. This scale turned out to be the best single predictor of children's emotional health and happiness.

The more children knew their family's history, the stronger their sense of control over their lives, the higher their self-esteem, and the more successfully they believed their families functioned.

Two months after this study was conducted, the September 11 attacks occurred. The psychologists went back and studied how the same group of children responded to that trauma. The results were the same: "The ones who knew more about their families proved to be more resilient, meaning they could moderate the effects of stress."

To explain the connection between story and resilience, the psychologists coined the term ‘intergenerational self.’ It's a sense that you're part of something bigger, that your life is an episode in a larger narrative. More than just entertain and amuse, (which they do) cross-generational stories serve another purpose.

Family stories let children know that they're not alone, and that those who came before them celebrated triumphs and overcame struggles, just as they do.

Additionally, in a study of family stories at Emory University, it was found that family stories seem to be transferred by mothers and grandmothers more often than not, and that the information was typically passed during family dinners, family vacations and family holidays. Other data indicated that these very same regular family dinners, vacations, and holiday celebrations occur more frequently in families that have high levels of cohesiveness. It is the ‘intergenerational self’ and the personal strength that is derived from it that are associated with increased resilience, better adjustment, and improved chances of good clinical and educational outcomes.

The researchers define three types of family narratives:

1. The ascending narrative: we came from nothing and now we've succeeded (rags to riches).

2. The descending narrative: we used to have it all and now we have nothing.

3. And, the most healthful narrative is called the oscillating family narrative: we've had ups and downs, and we've persevered, as a family.

This third narrative is the story of the Jewish people.

When we share stories - especially over holidays - year after year after year, we invite the next generation into the Jewish family story. Our stories are still unfolding.

Source:  
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1CAqgu81tKs2GI5GVEeunpZCkVR6pbXYe/view
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Table of contents
    Introduction
  • Let Us Light Candles for Peace
  • Building Your Mental Health Passover Seder Plate
  • A Blessing Before Candle Lighting
    • Prayer for Healing the Planet
    • A Prayer for Human Rights by Rabbi Brant Rosen
    • Four Questions About Four Personalities...
    • Instead Of: A Prayer for Peace by Trisha Arlin
    • Mi Sheberach For Those Who Feel Overwhelmed
    • Mi Sheberach For The Victims of Anti-Semitism
      • Kadesh, Songs
    • Karaoke Seder - First Cup Intro
      • Karpas, Yachatz, Maggid - Beginning, Rachtzah, Commentary / Readings, Bareich
    • Coping with the Empty Chair at the Seder: A Personal Journal for Memory and Contemplation
      • Karpas
    • A Prayer For Compassion
      • Yachatz, -- Ten Plagues, Maror
    • Mi Sheberach for Grief
      • Yachatz
    • Mental Health Seder Yachatz
    • In Every Generation: Embracing Brokenness
    • How Did the Israelites Wind Up in Egypt in the First Place?
      • -- Exodus Story
    • The Exodus In All Of Us
    • Building Resilience Through Family Stories
      • -- Four Questions
    • Four Mental Health Questions for Passover
      • -- Four Children
    • Blessing The Children In All Of Us
      • -- Ten Plagues
    • A Prayer for the End of Bloodshed
    • Prayer For The Captive Women And Children
      • Maggid - Beginning, -- Cup #2 & Dayenu
    • Can you feel the Dayen-ergy? It would have been Ken-ough
      • Motzi-Matzah
    • A Motzi for Sustainability by Trisha Arlin
      • Introduction, Kadesh, Urchatz, Yachatz, Karpas, Maggid - Beginning, Maror, Bareich
    • Prayers On Behalf of Soldiers & Those Being Called to Active Service
      • Shulchan Oreich
    • Family Story Questions For Your Seder Table
      • Bareich
    • Mi Sheberach For Mental Health
      • Nirtzah
    • World To Come by Sarina Elenbogen-Siegel
    • In Every Generation: Next Year in Jerusalem--Messages of Hope
      • Conclusion
    • Oseh Shalom
      • Songs
    • The Wandering is Over Haggadah - Who Knows One
    • The Wandering is Over Haggadah - Chad Gadya
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