A Graduate Student Haggadah: Welcome
Leader: Welcome to the Graduate student Seder. Every year we gather together to tell the story of our forefathers' liberation from graduate school.
Participant: Retelling the story of our time in graduate school is a sacred duty. Even if all of us were postdocs in hot labs, even if all of us were management consultants or patent attorneys, even if all of us were tenured professors, it would still be our duty to tell the story.
Participant: Traditionally, the story is told at night, before we return to lab.
Participant: Here I am, a grad student of seven years, and yet I was never able to understand why one is obligated to work at night until Professor Jose of Gamliel University explained it thusly: Our tradition commands: "You shall work in lab all the days of your life."
Participant: "The days of your life" refers to the days, while "All the days of your life" refers to the nights.
Participant: And the postdocs say, "The days of your life" refers to the weekdays; "All the days of your life" includes weekends, too.
Participant: Professor Elazar of Azrah University saith, "Of course, this assumes that you have a life.